A blog summary can be found in podcast form at - anchor.fm/Twingineering or check out the podcast Twingineering on Spotify, Google Podcast, Apple Podcast, or where ever you get your Podcast.
When we found out we were expecting twins we already had a furry child at home. He was the center of our social life, had his own space in every part of our home, and had become a member of the family. He was and is to this day our first child. He is a 35lb beagle pointer mix with black and white fur to make him stand out in any crowd. His name is shadow, and he was about to get two new pack members in a home that was designed around him.
So what did we do? First we did a lot of research on how to introduce your dog to a new baby (or two). There are many helpful article out there that helped us get a foot hold with this topic; however, I found four tips that worked extremely well for our family in particular. These four tips were a lifesaver in the time before and after we brought the babies home. I have broken these up into two categories, things to do before baby comes home, and things to do after baby comes home. I suggest starting with just one tip to implement at a time, remember your dog already knows baby is on the way, you are just trying to ease them into this stressful time without creating extra anxiety in your home. I also recommend that you save this post to reread as you get closer to your due date, and even after baby comes home. This is a guide to help you transition, not items that you have to do to create a happy home. You know your dog best and know how he/she will react to a new human in the home.
Things to do before baby arrives
1. Create a space for your dog within the Nursery
During the first few weeks of having my twins home Shadow got as much or less sleep than we did. He was our first warning system when the babies cried, and oftentimes woke up more than my husband did. He still gets up with me at night a year later to chase away midnight monsters, and will continue to do so as our little ones age. This means that shadow spends a good amount of time in the nursery with our family. We decided that while setting up the nursery to add a dog bed to our list of items. We actually purchased the dog bed before we purchased our changing table or cribs. Shadow's new dog bed was then inside the nursery the entire time we were setting everything up for the babies. This allowed him time to get use to the new bed and claim it as his before he needed it for those 2 am nursing sessions. His dog bed sits next to my rocking chair to provide him a close connection to me and the babies.
The great part about having this bed is that it can be moved, and already smells like shadow. It provides a piece of security that he needs when major events happen in our families lives. Such as moving into a new home right before our babies first birthday. We also plan on moving the bed into one of the kids rooms, and getting shadow a new bed for the other kids room when we split them up down the road. We just love the idea that each kid will have a space for the family dog within their room to keep developing that close bond between them.
2. Let your dog hear the sound of a baby crying
To be honest this one was hard for me while I was pregnant. I would pull up a YouTube video of a baby's crying with every intention of playing it for the full 15 minutes a day that would help shadow get comfortable with the sound, and then promptly shut it off after three minutes and avoiding playing it again for another three to five days. If you can stand the sound of a child crying for 15 minutes a day this is truly a great way to get your dog use to the sound of a baby crying in your home. They may freak out at first, bark, and generally loose their minds, but it is better they have that reaction before there is a baby in the home who might not like the sound of a dog barking combined with their crying. Then again your dog might have shadows reaction, and just ignore the crying phone. The dirty looks he gave me were some of his finest.
Luckily for me I had a friend with a bobbler (BOB-ler - what I call that stage between baby to toddler) who was happy to play with shadow and have a few tantrums for me. Now, I do not recommend showing up at your friends or families home who has small children with your dog out of the blue. That will not go over well even if this person enjoys dogs or has dogs. Make sure you talk to the mom of the child before setting up a playdate. This was one of the best ways we found to create a similar situation to what shadow would be going through at home, while showing him that small children generally mean more food for him at meal times.
BONUS: Talk about your coming home plan for the dog with your husband or helper before you bring home baby.
Having a plan in place before your bring home your baby will reduce the stress of introducing your dog to baby. This will prevent yelling and harsh words during a high stress situation. Remember when you are coming home from the hospital you are tired from having a newborn and will immediately take the path of least resistance around making choices. Having a plan means your choices have already been made so your brain just needs to check off each step as your go along. Additionally, it will prevent you from needing to find a last minute dog sitter while you are in labor!
Things to do when your bringing baby home
3. Have someone take your dog for a walk while you carry baby into the home
Being that shadow is less than 30" tall from top of head to his feet while sitting he has a tendency to jump on anyone that walks through the front door of our home. We wanted to avoid shadow jumping on our three day old babies and harming them only hours after they left the hospital. So during our discussion a few weeks before we decided that the babies needed to enter the home and be at shadows level when he come into the home. When we got home my husband got out of the car and went inside like he was coming home from work. He then took shadow on his usual walk around the block to burn energy. This allowed me enough time to take both babies out of the car and bring them inside the house. We placed the kids on the floor in their infant carriers where shadow could easily sniff them, and were we could easily pull them away if he had a negative reaction (which he didn't). It honestly resulted in the cutest video, and a nicely tired puppy while we were settling the babies into their new environment.
4. Leave room for your dog to make mistakes
Remember that your dog is not perfect, no matter how well trained they may be. Bring a new person (or two) into their pack means that they are going to be curious and is going to make some mistakes. We really had to revert back to the basics of puppy training. There was very little that Shadow didn't need retrained on. It was a throwback to carrying treats around in my pockets, and taking the time everyday to review "Sit", "Stay", and "Spot" among others. The increased treats on a slowed metabolism, combined with the elimination of dog park visits and an oversupply of food meant that our 35lb dog became a 42lb dog within a couple of months.
We had to give him, as well as giving ourselves, the grace to make mistakes. Those first 3 months were difficult for all of us in our home, and shadow was not an exception, but part of the rule. So give your dog a grace period, then once your have yourself back together, focus on getting both of your back to your new normal.
BONUS: Keep your dogs walk and feeding schedule the same during your adjustment period
Honestly we were extremely bad at this and it had a major effect on how well Shadow adjusted to our new normal. Dogs who are use to getting walked everyday between 4pm and 4:30pm are going to become antsy during those hours. Make sure one of you is taking him for his walk during the normal walk windows. This will relieve anxiety for your dog and help you adjust his needs into your new normal.
Check out the following resources for additional information. Also if you have not gotten a chance, use the above and below links to check out my podcast on this topic, as well as additional podcast on problem solving motherhood with twins.
My Podcast - anchor.fm/Twingineering
Cesar Millan on how to introduce your dog to baby - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt9yKg-jHEE
Cesar Millan training your dog to live with baby - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp3G8fzj-RE
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